Notre Dame is beautiful from the outside and far away, but close up, it’s breath taking. The detailing in the structures makes you wonder how someone can not only think of that specific design, but also have the knowledge and talent to implement it. Each of the hundreds of faces carved into the archways shows a suffering nearly impossible to carve into rock. The gargoyles that loom overhead look like they might actually come alive at night. Equally amazing is that in a consumer driven world, they still hold mass in the church, and admission is always free.
Notre Dame is covered with gorgeous stained glass windows that look heavenly when the French sunlight shines through. The rich reds, bright blues, and deep purples cast a rainbow across the floors. The ceilings are so high that you strain your neck to look at the detailing on the top. As you circle around the inside of the church, you can examine the exhibits, which are set up throughout, depicting religious sacraments and the history of Notre Dame. In several places, there are rows of tiny burning candles. As I held my tea light to the one next to it I thought of my Papa, knowing that though he passed away last semester I still miss him everyday, and my uncle, who I hope will continue to fight his cancer.
Though I was raised Catholic, I consider myself an atheist. So how was it that I nearly cried near the rows of lights in a church? And why did I choose this spot and this moment to think of my loved ones? Standing there, deciding not to receive communion with my roommates, I wondered about the meaning of religion. Can you reject the idea of a God and still find sanctity and meaning in a church or a mass? As the priest started to sing, I wasn’t surprised to recognize the hymn, because I still know all the prayers I learned more than a decade ago. What I was surprised at was how much it moved me, and how at peace I felt in a place where I didn’t think I would belong.
Running around Versailles, the Louvre, Champs-Elysees , and the rest of Paris was exciting, but standing in Notre Dame felt cleansing. The ting of my sunburn, the desire for another éclair, the mild wine headache I was nursing, the blisters on my feet, all went away. No number of Syracuse religion classes can explain the torn feeling I had between my anti-religious stance and the comfort I surprisingly felt at a mass.
Not too long after, I was back outside on my way to a river tour of the Seine, yet another pastry shop, and the Eiffel Tower. After everything I did on my five day trip to Paris, I wouldn’t consider Notre Dame my favorite part, but I would say it was the most thought provoking, and something that has made me question myself and my beliefs.
